Today is just one of those days, one of those "life isn't fair" days. I'm frustrated, so that just makes it worse.
I have been watching my niece, who is 9mo (6G) younger than Lil'c, during the day. The comparison just makes his issues all that more obvious. At his age, he should be talking, verbally. We use sign to communicate since the brain cysts damaged his ability to express verbal language and has a rather large vocabulary. About 65 signs. She signs some because he does, but she does have words. She actually prefers sign since it is easier at her age. He used to have words.. He used to say "mama", "ah-ma" (grandma), "Ning-ning" (daddy, he made that noise when Lil'c would beep his nose) and a few more that I have on the list on the fridge that I can't even look at anymore. He lost them all when the scaring hardened around the cyst.
Most of his signs are so similar, because of his lack of dexterity due to the cysts, that he is hard to understand. BALL, YEAH, BOOK, CRACKER, COOKIE, ALLIGATOR, BEAR, and blanket all look like MORE. Hers are perfectly articulated, she even gives a "well, duh" expression when she does sign, which is cute.
He falls frequently while she climbs EVERYTHING. His O2 also gets caught around furniture and he gets stuck, while she flutters about the room. She puts stickers everywhere, he can't get them off his hand. She loves to color and make fantastic scribbles, he makes tic marks.
He has to take meds around the clock while she took some earlier today for a bug bite.
For her the O2 tube is a fun and interesting toy, for him an annoyance.
Her only scar from an accident where she fell down.. His scars.. All from surgery.
Her legs are twice as thick as his and she is already taller, but we are both shorter than her parents, so she probably would have been anyway.
If she is the slightest hungry, she lets me know. He never does, I think he thinks it is normal. I just give him snacks when I give her snacks now.
His 6mo baby sister, Lil'K, almost eats with a spoon as well as he does.
Sometimes the comparisons and the feeling that "life isn't fair" hits you like a ton of bricks, even 2 years after he came home. Today is just one of those days.
