I just don't get it...

Oh No.. Here she goes again....
There are things in this life that I just don't understand... abortions being one of them. Yep... here I go getting all controversial again... I'm really, honestly, trying to understand the thought process that makes it ok..

I guess I need to back up and explain where this is coming from... There is a big controversy going on, Thanks to the sisters with the blog "Speak Now: Girl Scouts" about Girl Scouts being liberal and supporting Planned Parenthood... They are, that's a given. You can disagree with me all you want... but I'm a 23 year Girl Scout. So .. I know, been there, seen it, experienced it. So lets skip over that part, K?

That discussion has brought about MEW of "The Salon" commenters saying that you MUST be pro-Choice or else you are anti-woman. That women MUST be allowed to use birth control/have abortions or because other wise they can't enjoy sex. So are you saying that Prolifers want women to be little baby factories... Umm.. Wha? Seriously people how did we go from Girl Scouts and PP to women are only good for popping out babies?? I don't use chemical Birth control and have never had an abortion.. My hubby sure isn't the only one having fun. That's just one of those things that irks me...
If your Pro-life you must hate women... It's like the whole if your a republican you must be racist.   If that's the only thing you got.. I'm no longer listening. You might as well be cussing at me, and it really lowers my view of your intellect.

Ok.. got off subject...

Tiny Snowman says 'Why so serious?"  Just needed a brain break.
The big thing that I don't get about the pro-choice stance, so it is the mother's choice to do with her body... but what about the baby's body? Why doesn't the baby have any rights? What if the situation was on the other foot? What if the baby decided to kill the mother (of course this couldn't happen, but we're going hypothetical). What if the mother would die and the baby would live? Would that be some horrific story or what? All over the news.... how brave the mother was to allow herself to die so her child would live? But these women's lives are NOT dependent on their fetus/baby/embryo. Most of them just don't want to be pregnant. Save their "Vah jay jay" or whatever. Notice I'm NOT talking about the life threatening scenarios, cuz I LIVED that. I'm talking about the women who get pregnant because they didn't care to seek birth control or didn't care that they could get pregnant.

How is it ok to snuff out a life just because you don't care? How is it any different from after they take their first breath? How is it any different from my that mother on trial from killing her little girl because she was "inconvenient"?

 Of the women I know (and not all of them are conservative pro-lifers) who have had abortions, all of them regret it on some level.  All of them wish they hadn't.   Abortion kinna falls into the same idea as choosing not to breastfeed to me.  It is interrupting a natural process, which causes problems, but that is a whole other topic.

The other thing I don't get is at what point do they "become a human being"? Going from a scientific level.. The difference between and adult and an embryo is age. They have all the genetic make up of an adult. They are human, what else would they be?
Some, like my son, is an issue of "viabilty" which makes it an issue of medical skill... but how is that any different from someone on insulin or with a pace maker?   How about you?  Do you grow all your own food?  Do you never shop?  Then don't you require others to help you survive?
Or maybe it is environment... So if you took me and moved me to Alaska I would have a hard time surviving..  Seriously I NEED 90 degree weather!  Would that make me less human?  You have to admit that an embryo is perfectly suited to their environment.

And then have the whole sick baby thing.. we already know how I feel about sick babies... 
What makes a baby who-happens-to-have-a-genetic-disorder-of-some-sort's life less valuable than a child who doesn't?  Remember I spent time in a NICU...  There is a term in our NICU called a "Hospital Baby".. that is a baby who's mother (usually a druggie of some sort) comes, delivers the baby and leaves.   Leaving her child, never to return.  Many of those children are perfectly healthy.  So which baby should be allowed to live?  Mine who is LOVED and happens to have a MAJOR heart condition and had a 0% survival rate (HA!) or the healthy child?  BTW the healthy babies get adopted pretty quickly, from what I understand.  So you surely can't call either child "unwanted."

I really honestly just don't get it.  Can you explain it to me?

In this discussion that may ensue... please remember my rules.  Disagreement is welcome, atacking one another is not :)  k thx!


  1. I can't explain because I too am perplexed by all that you have presented but may I just say that you are one impressive and very wise 23 year old. Blessings to you!

  2. Thanks.. but I'm 28 :P
    I have been holding this post off for weeks.. I've been nervous of the response.

  3. thanks for the post, I agree with you on all of it!

  4. Off the subject, I just realized we have the same last name! Woot! :)

    On subject, for the most part I am pro life. I do have certain times where I feel abortion is okay, such as rape... especially of a young girl. Not to mention, there are times when a pregnancy CAN kill the mother carrying the child. My mom had a pregnancy terminated due to the fact that if she didn't, both her and the baby would have died. I feel that it was right to have done what she did, especially considering that she had 5 children already depending on her.

    That being said, I believe that if you get knocked up because you are being irresponsible and choosing not to use birth control... Abortion is wrong, yes WRONG! There are many couples out there just waiting to adopt... If you don't want to take responsibility for your actions, don't abort... just let someone else experience that miracle we call babies!

    Great post!

  5. I don't count ectopic pregnancies as abortion.. other than that I can't think of a life threatening situation that it is worth it... Lil'C had a 0% chance of survival... Drs aren't always right.
    And with the rape thing.. very few rape victims actually chose abortion. I can't remember the exact statistics but it is somewhere above 75% continue the pregnancy. I'm sure many choose adoption, but abortion after rape is almost like double rape... at least IMHO. Not only do you have to deal with the psychological trauma of the rape but not the psychological trauma of the abortion. I think this is one of those "side effects" that get left often.

  6. I agree and disagree. I think adoption is a great idea for a rape victim, but I would not scorn someone that chose to abort that baby either.

    My mother did not have an ectopic pregnancy, her pregnancy was terminated due to extremely high blood pressure that was sky rocketing and uncontrollable. Other than that, the pregnancy was normal. Had they not terminated when they did, both mother and baby would not have made it.

    Like I said before, however, great post, and I tend to agree with a lot of what you say. I love your blog and will definitely continue reading.

  7. 1st.. I would never scorn someone who had an abortion. I usually feel sorry for them that they felt like they had to make that decision.

    2nd.. have you read my story?? High blood pressure in pregnancy is called Pre-Eclampsia (sp?). Severe Pre-E was part of our problem, the other being his heart. Usually they do early delivery (C-section) or early induced delivery (V-birth) for Pre-E. Neither of which are abortions. Was this a long time ago?
    Moms are still at risk of dieing from Pre-E for 2 MONTHS POST-delivery.
    Lil'C was born at 27weeks and 1 day (1 day into the third trimester, yes I had a 2 trimester pregnancy) Other moms at the NICU delivered at 23 and 24 weeks, some survived.. some didn't. Those pregnancies were not terminated, they were delivered.
    Thanks for being in the discussion.

  8. I also had Pre-eclampsia. I was admitted at 27 weeks. They told me if they couldn't get my BP undercontrol we'd deliver right way. BUT if I had been 16 weeks or 19 weeks or 21 weeks that "delivery" would statistically count as "abortion." Luckily for us my perinatologist's research is preelampsia. He was able to get us 2 more precious weeks of pregnancy. My baby was 975 grams, 13.75 inches. Today he is a perfectly healthy 4 year old. We started treating for preeclampsia at 16 weeks in my second pregnancy which reulted in a healthy 38 weeker. The second time it did take longer for my BP to get back to normal, but I also had kidney stones about 3 weeks post-delivery, so that may have prolonged the high BP.

  9. I've never heard of pre-e kicking in at 16 or 19 weeks.. I think the placenta is not large enough to cause enough of a problem yet... but I could be wrong!
    Thankfully tons of research has gone in to pre-e and things can be done to help avoid 2nd time pre-e such as small amounts of aspirin.
    congrats on the healthy 38w-2nd preg! Did they do a 2nd C-section?


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